<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I wanna love you 'til the end of time by klawhawser</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27268945">I wanna love you 'til the end of time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/klawhawser/pseuds/klawhawser'>klawhawser</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>somebody who catches you [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Breaking Up &amp; Making Up, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hallucinations, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Break Up, Ten Trails Whump Challenge 2020, Trail7: Road to Recovery, Triggers, Whump, Whumptober</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:46:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27268945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/klawhawser/pseuds/klawhawser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus come by Alec’s apartment and ever since that, there’s one thing that would triggers Alec nightmare but he won’t let Magnus knows. </p><p>For Ten Trails Whump Challenge by yuckwhump on Tumblr!<br/>Trail 7: Road to Recovery – Triggers, October 29th<br/>Sequel for So Close and Still So Far</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>somebody who catches you [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ten Trails Whump Challenge 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I wanna love you 'til the end of time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is the ninth theme on Trail 7: Road to Recovery, Triggers. Enjoy!<br/>The title is taken from End of Time - Johnny Stimson</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Don’t…</em>” Alec trails off, whispering slowly. “<em>You’ll make…. Camille… worry…</em>”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alec, what are you talking about?” Magnus whispers as he sits on the bed. “Why are you suddenly mentioning Camille?”</p><p>Magnus’ heart races when there’s only silence from the other side.</p><p><em>This can’t be a good thing judging from his panic attack earlier</em>, Magnus thinks to himself. And Magnus doesn’t really understand why did he mention Camille before he hangs up. Camille is already banished unless there is something that frees her and attack Alec. He stares at the screen then Magnus knows damn well his relationship with Alec ended two months ago. It was trivial actually, Alec with his insecurity and Magnus getting tired with his effort. Alec was too caught up with his mind that he ignored Magnus whenever he tries to help him, to understand Alec better. There’s something sinks inside Magnus whenever Alec tells him that he’s alright and not to worry.</p><p>How can he not worry when it’s his Alexander that is hurting?</p><p> </p><p>Magnus had heard from Isabelle last week, that Alec had moved out from the Institute to an apartment near the Institute. When Magnus asked her why he moved, his ex’s sister also didn’t know anything. Alec refused to told her his reason. Magnus understand whenever Alec decides on something, it’s quite hard to convince him not to do it. Even Magnus’ charms seem immune to Alec’s determination.</p><p>Regrets filled Magnus for not giving all of his effort to Alec. He should have tried harder and never falter whenever Alec pushes him away. But sometimes he felt clueless whenever Alec shut him out. And so, he would visit Alec’s apartment, to check on him. He knew his relationship with the Nephilim is over but still he couldn’t help but worry about him. He snaps his finger and a giant blue portal appeared in front of him.</p><p>
  <em>I’m coming for you, Alexander.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>­­___</p><p> </p><p>His portal has taken him to the front of Alec’s apartment door. His room is located on the far end of the hallway, with a floor to ceiling window next to it. It was still dark outside and Magnus proceeds to knock on his door, just for courtesy of being polite. Then he sighs realizing how stupid he is. Of course, his Alexander is passed out and won’t answer the door. His fingers swirl as magic surrounds the door handle, making the door slightly ajar. He pushes the door in a slow motion, not wanting to disturb whoever his neighbors are.</p><p>Magnus was surprised.</p><p>The apartment is so like his Alexander. Even though it’s dark, Magnus can still tell that dark blue wall on the living area surrounds him and decorated with a good amount of furniture in a color that suits the wall. His apartment could really mirror Magnus’ loft. After taking a look at his ex’s apartment, he sneaks to the bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>“Alexander!”</p><p>Magnus rushes to Alec who fell down on his stomach. His phone still clutched tightly in his hand. His magically wrapped fingers scan Alec for any hidden injuries. Past experiences had taught Magnus that Alec keened on hiding injuries. Magnus can breathe easily when his magic found nothing too concerning beside a tremendous amount of stress on Alec.</p><p>In a careful manner, Magnus carries Alec’s limp body back to his bed. He tucks Alec and covers him with a fluffy comforter. His heart warms watching his Alexander sleeping peacefully, as if nothing horrible happened to him before this.</p><p>Magnus conjures himself a chair by his bedside and he plops down. His mind went back to two months ago. Both of them didn’t explicitly agree that they broke up, it was rather a silent agreement to just move on with their life. Magnus felt sorry he ruined Alec’s first relationship which ended not in a good way.</p><p>But Magnus is glad, Alec still chooses him as his safe haven, as someone Alec can trust. For Magnus, Alec’s wellbeing is everything. Of course Magnus would do anything for his Alexander. Magnus’ adrenaline starts to dissipate and his eyes flutters close, joining his Nephilim to the dreamless sleep</p><p> </p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>Chirping birds pulls Alec back to his consciousness. Alec wakes up rather groggily, rubbing his eyes harsh. Throwing his forearms above his eyes, he sighs.</p><p>Wait.</p><p>How did he get into the bed?</p><p>Alec jerks into sitting position, only to find Magnus still dozing off in his chair. Alec smiles sadly. It’s been a while since he sees Magnus real close. He reaches his arms to Magnus face but apparently his movement awaken his ex.</p><p>“Alexander,” Magnus mutters, his voice heavy with sleep. He groans as he corrects his position. “You’re okay now?”</p><p>Alec stares at him in puzzlement. “What happened? Did I do something to you?”</p><p>“I wish I know what to answer you, Alec,” Magnus sighs. But he misses Alec stiffening when he calls him.  “You called me at 4AM while having panic attack and as a good <em>person</em> I decided to came and check on you.”</p><p>Realization dawns upon Alec immediately.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Alexander, honey,” Magnus yawns. “It’s 4 in the morning. Why don’t you get some sleep?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t remember dialing his number but hearing his voice sleepily, his lips trembles, letting out soft whimpers. “Are you crying? Alexander? Please say something.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His chest tightens. He doesn’t know whether it caused by his panic attack or merely by his voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Magnus,” is all Alec can say and he’s full sobbing again. His phone clutched tightly on his chest; gut-wrenching sobs is heard on Magnus’ end. His breath getting shortened and he can’t breathe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I-I c-can’t…. breathe.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Alexander listen to me,” Alec hiccups. He can hear Magnus’ worried voice trying to calm him down. “Take a deep breath…. Hold for three seconds. One… two… three… let go. Repeat it again. In…. and out….”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alec listens and do what he says. Taking a deep breath and let it go. After a while, his chest doesn’t feel as restricting as it was before. But hiccups still rocks him. His sniffles while swiping the tears away from running down his ashen cheeks. He blinks his eyes, trying to clear his visions. Somehow, he’s weaker and everything seems darker. Lying on his side; phone still clutches tightly near his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s losing consciousness.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Alec?”</p><p>“O-Oh, yeah, what is it?” Alec stutteringly asks. He just can’t seem to get used to Magnus saying his nickname. His sad eyes stay on Magnus when the older man get off his chair then stretches his stiff back. He tries to take in as many Magnus as his eyes could before he’s gone. Again.</p><p>Oh, how he missed to have Magnus back on his bed. To just lay in the morning, enjoying each other company. Or just watching sleeping Magnus. Everything he did with Magnus always seem magnificent.</p><p>Too good to be true.</p><p>“I gotta go back to the loft,” Magnus says while fixing his appearance with magic. His wrinkly maroon shirt is now as if ironed and his face fresh with a good makeup layering his handsome face. “There’s <em>someone</em> waiting for me back there and I just can’t leave unattended.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>How could he forget? The great Magnus Bane is now wedded to Camille Belcourt. He’s no longer belongs to Alexander Lightwood.</p><p>What does it feel like to be Camille? To wake up with Magnus beside her and exchanging a morning kiss. Or even a better to have a great morning sex with him. It’s breaking his heart that he doesn’t have the luxury of dating Magnus Bane.</p><p>It hurts just the same amount when he found the envelope when he moved to this apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Alec blinks the tears in his eyes and clears his throat. “Of c-course, Magnus. Thank you for…. f-for checking up on me.” He doesn’t have the courage to continue ‘<em>I keep forgetting Camille is waiting for you at the loft.</em>’</p><p>Magnus just smiles at him. Alec smiles back but he’s not really sure whether it’s a smile or a grimace. He just wish Magnus couldn’t see the sadness on his face.</p><p>After the door completely shuts, Alec lets a heavy sigh that turns into choked sobs. He tries to lower down his voice but it’s too painful.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Behind the closed door, Magnus looks down to his feet as he listens to sobbing Alec. Dear Lilith he really wishes to hug Alec and soothe him.</p><p>But he can’t.</p><p>Not when Alexander is no longer his.</p><p>Or is he?</p><p> </p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>Alec arrives at the Institute very late in afternoon. Apparently, he fell asleep after crying his heart out this morning. Thank goodness nothing is happening while he was asleep.</p><p>No one seems bothered when the Head of the Institute comes in fashionably late, and Alec is grateful that not even Underhill asks him. He takes a quick stride to his office then shut the door close with his hips.</p><p>What a day.</p><p> </p><p>He strides around his desk to his chair and he halts when his eyes fixate on the items laid on his desk.</p><p>Three envelopes on his desk.</p><p>No this can’t be right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alec frowns. Behind his boots, an envelope sealed with red wax is seen with his boots trail imprinted on it. Not having a faintest idea who has sent him this envelope, he picks the envelope up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He flips the envelope and his heart sinks.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Mr. Alexander Gideon Lightwood,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With open hearts, we would be delightful by your presence at the celebration of their union:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Camille Belcourt to Magnus Bane</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saturday, Twenty-Sixth of July</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ten O’clock in the Morning</em>
</p><p>
  <em>St. Regis Hotel,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>New York</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Feasting and Merriment to Follow.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He steps back until his back meets the wall and he slid down. His trembling hand grasps on his hair, pulling it tight. His chest feels heavy and pounding loudly in his ears.</p><p>Ever since that nightmare, Alec always fear whenever envelope is laid out near him. He always gives them to Izzy to let her take a look at it. But today there’s no Izzy and he braves himself to walk closer to those envelopes.</p><p>Before his hands touch the expensive velvety material of the envelope, raps of knocks save him. Alec waits for the person to come in.</p><p> </p><p>It is Magnus.</p><p>This is <em>not surprising</em> at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Magnus? Is there anything that I can help you with?”</p><p>Magnus’ brows furrow. Instead of answering Alec, Magnus questions him. “Are you still sick from last night? You look kind of pale to my liking, Alec.”</p><p>Alec’s mouth gapes then close, feeling unsure how to reply. He shakes his head. “You know what? Never mind. What brings you here, Magnus?”</p><p>Magnus then blush lightly, as his fingers magically conjuring something. “There’s something that I want to give to you.”</p><p>Alec heart shatters. He takes a sharp breath as he observes the thing offered to him.</p><p>It’s an envelope with cursive letter with <em>Dear Alexander</em> in front. Magnus jumps as Alec laugh bitterly. Today is without doubt Alec worst day he ever has in his life.</p><p> </p><p>“What is this? Another celebration to your wedding with Camille?”</p><p>Magnus looks flabbergasted. “What wedding are you talking about, Alexander?”</p><p>Alec groans. “Don’t. Even though it hurts me, don’t call me Alexander when you already have Camille in your life.”</p><p>Magnus glares at Alec, looking very offended. Before Magnus has the chance to speak Alec cuts him, “It’s alright, Magnus. I’ll come even though I’m sure Camille would be very ang-“</p><p>“Enough, Alexander!”</p><p>Alec stares at Magnus and he crosses his arms. He waits for Magnus to continue. “I don’t understand why you keep saying Camille this Camille that. There’s no Camille, Alexander! I banished her months ago.”</p><p>“Y-you what?” Alec asks, disbelieving his ears. He locks his gaze to Magnus, trying to find lies in it, only sincerity filling his glamourized eyes.</p><p>“Alexander, I’m really worries about you,” Magnus glides closer, cupping Alec’s face with his hands. “Please tell me, Alexander. Anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Alec closes his eyes in pain. Even when they’re closed, he still sees Magnus in his wedding suit with Camille beside him, wearing a very glamour wedding gown. A tear escapes his eyes when he focuses his gaze in Magnus’ worried eyes.</p><p>“Don’t you remember? You sent me a wedding invitation Magnus. Two weeks ago, to be precise,” Alec explains with a heavy heart. He looks down to his feet, not brave enough to see Magnus. “How can you forget when you just married Camille yesterday?”</p><p>Alec is forced to see Magnus when his chin is lifted by Magnus’ thumb.</p><p>“Oh, Alexander.”</p><p>Before he could realize, Magnus pulls him into his embrace. Magnus caresses his nape while the other grasps his waist. <em>This is quite a surprise</em>, Alec thinks to himself. After a moment, Alec returns his embrace, clutching Magnus’ back.</p><p>“Alexander, it’s just a nightmare,” Magnus’ voice wavers, thick with tears. “I never sent you those invitation you claim and <em>never</em> I would to let myself marry Camille.”</p><p>Alec just lets his tears streams down his face and he buries his face deep into Magnus’ shoulder. “I just want to mend our relationship, Alexander. I do still love you very much.”</p><p>Hearing that last sentence, Alec breaks down. “I love you too, Magnus. I love you so much.” He sniffles. “I’m truly sorry I ignored you, Magnus. I really am.”</p><p>“You never did anything wrong, darling,” Magnus pushes Alec away as he stares at Alec’s tear rimmed eyes. He wipes those tear tracks with his thumb and it produces a wet chuckle from Alec. “You were battling with yourself and I should have stayed with you. Giving more of my efforts like I promised you.”</p><p>“It’s alright, Magnus. I don’t blame you at all,” Alec grins and it makes Magnus grins as well. “All that matter is you’re here and you’re mine.”</p><p>“I’m yours, darling.”</p><p> </p><p>After making sure his Alexander already calm down, Magnus gives him the letter he is supposed to give earlier, “Open it.”</p><p>Alec just stares at Magnus, pleading with eyes not wanting to open the letter. Magnus lets a laugh erupted and it warms Alec’s heart.</p><p>“I promise you, Alexander, it’s nothing like your dream,” Magnus states.</p><p>With that, Alec takes the letter and he opens slowly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Alexander Lightwood,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After two agonizing months of not seeing your beautiful face, it’s finally took its toll on me. This early morning call you made me realize that I should’ve put more efforts to you. To not give up on us. I failed you and here I am writing a letter hoping for a second chance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alexander, will you give me a chance to start over as your boyfriend by inviting you to a dinner in my loft?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Magnus Bane.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>PS:Kiss me on the lips if you say ‘yes’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alec chuckles and he lurches to kiss Magnus. Magnus is surprised but he catches his Alexander in his arms. Alec’s heart skips a beat when Magnus’ sandalwood intoxicating scent filling his nose. Magnus pulls Alec’s chin and he immediately explore Alec’s sweet cavern. Alec feels Magnus washing him over like a wave of warmth. Magnus tastes so wonderful and it silences Alec’s thoughts. They part to take a breath and Magnus kisses him on his forehead.</p><p>This day isn’t so bad after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading this fic. Anyway, please do leave kudos, bookmark, and comment if you like~</p><p>Thank you for all of you who have read until this far and for the last theme, Lashing Out, it’s going to be my debut writing smut fic ahahaha wish me luckk, coming up on October 31st. See you later!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>